From my own experience (I work at a university in a non-teaching role), when you’re dealing with immaturity and entitlement issues, you’ve got to be blunt as all heck and very persistent. It’s not going to be easy, and I would strongly suggest setting some internal boundaries for yourself before you get started. i.e. “I will tolerate X but if a student does Y, I am allowing myself to hang up.”
Tell the student they are acting badly when they do X, that yelling and screaming is not appropriate or acceptable behavior, they they are behaving childishly or acting extremely entitled. Then tell them what some appropriate responses or reactions would be. Be specific and detailed. They may have never seen real adults in professional settings before. Even in their parents/caretakers worked from home during the pandemic, things were really fuzzy then professionalism-wise for a lot of folks.
If entitlement is a particular issue, “why?” is my favorite response. i.e. “My professor failed me and it’s so unfair. ‘Why is it unfair?’ ‘Because I need a passing grade to graduate on time.’ ‘Why is that the professor’s problem? Why isn’t it your responsibility to study harder/go to office hours/seek out extra credit?’”
It can be really hard, but try not to call the students themselves childish or entitled. They are Acting childish. The Behaviors are not inappropriate. They can and should do better, and you expect them to because they are perfectly capable of it. There was a lot less telling students “no” and there were fewer consequences for poor behavior for many students during the pandemic. Name the behaviors and give them the information to do better next time, but if they carry on refuse to engage with poor behavior. Introduce them to the fact that, with you, actions have consequences.
For example, if you’re trying to help them with an issue, and they just want to ignore it, flat out tell them “It doesn’t sound like you want to deal with this problem. Did you call because you needed to vent to someone, or do you want me to help you figure out how to deal with this?” If they needed to vent, cool. If they need help dealing with it, ask “How would you like me to help you? What are you looking for from me right now?” If they can’t give a good answer, then say “Okay, why don’t you think about what I could help you with, and call me back when you have some ideas. Then we can work on fixing this together.” Then, say goodbye and hang up. Either they will be a mature adult and deal with it themself or get back to you, or they won’t. It’s ultimately up to them.
