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I learned a new term – emotional labor. Psychology Today defines it as “controlling one’s emotions to carry out the demands of one’s job”. They mention a couple of examples like a nurse who comforts a sick patient while being inundated with other demands. Or a restaurant server who has to keep a pleasant demeanor while being treated poorly by customers.
I’m bringing up emotional labor because if organizations aren’t talking about it with employees, they should be. For starters, they should talk about it during interviews. Ask candidates questions like “Tell me about a time when you had to deal with an angry customer.” Or “Tell me about a time when you had to manage several priorities at the same time.” The answers could provide some insight into how much experience a candidate has in dealing with emotional labor.
Organizations might also want to bring it up during onboarding. If we use the nurse example above, new employees should know what to do when they’re faced with that situation. Maybe it’s just the manager saying, “I try to stay on top of everyone’s workload, so they’re not placed in a position where they’re comforting a patient and being pulled in other directions. But if that happens, please let me know immediately. Patients are our number one priority, and I can help shift the other obligations.”
Emotional labor could also be brought up during training. For instance, if a restaurant was conducting customer service training, they might mention how to deal with unhappy customers. Maybe offer some steps for servers to manage the situation like Step One) Try to handle it yourself. Step Two) Get the floor supervisor involved. Step Three) Get the restaurant manager involved. Organizations might also tell servers that they’re allowed to write off up to a certain amount to make the customer happy with no management approval.
The point is that emotional labor doesn’t need to be a part of the job that we don’t talk about.
But notice that in my examples above, the conversations about emotional labor included solutions. That is essential.The answer to emotional labor isn’t “tough it out” or “this is why you get paid the big money”. Because if that’s the answer, then employees will decide if they want to “tough it out” or if they really are “making the big money” to deal with it.
Emotional labor is … well emotional. Yes, occasionally our workload is too much. And occasionally customers are jerks. We might say to ourselves that this doesn’t happen very often, and we can deal with it. Think of it more as the exception rather than the rule. My take on emotional labor is when employees are dealing with constant frustration and the company isn’t helping. At some point, employees say to themselves, my mental health is more important than this.
Emotional labor isn’t about weakness. It’s about helping employees set boundaries, establish priorities, effectively problem solve, and practice self-care. These are all things that employees should know how to do. It helps them manage their productivity and effectiveness. I’d like to believe that we all know by now that we can be a high performer and not run at full speed 24/7/365.
When we talk about jobs, it’s important to talk about both the good things and the not-so-good things. We want employees to have a clear understanding of the work. If organizations hide the not-so-great aspects of the job, then employees might wonder what else the company is hiding. That disconnect can ruin the employee experience and company culture. We can – and should – do better.
Image captured by Sharlyn Lauby while exploring the streets of Las Vegas, NV
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