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I saw a post from a Facebook friend recently asking for advice. Several people weighed in on the friend’s question and gave recommendations. After the commenting quieted down, the friend announced that they were disregarding all the advice they received. Which is totally fine.
It reminded me of a comment I heard in a training session once that “sometimes people don’t want your advice, they just want you to listen”. In the case of my Facebook friend, sometimes people don’t really want your advice even when they ask for it.
This applies in the workplace too. As a manager, we might see a member of the team struggling. It could be related to work and performance, but it could also be personal. Maybe it’s a situation that you’ve experienced in your career, and you know exactly how to fix whatever is bothering the employee. As tempting as it might be to jump in and offer some advice, maybe we need to wait until the right moment to offer advice or assistance.
When you see an employee struggling and want to help, think about the opportunities you have available.
One-on-one meetings. Are you conducting regular one-on-one meetings? How are they going? Have they turned into a session where “the manager talks and the employee listens”? With a new year, this might be a great time to do a refresh and/or reset on your one-on-one meetings to encourage employee feedback and discussion. This is a good idea even when you’re not dealing with a struggling team member. You don’t want one-on-one meetings to become stale and unproductive.
Employee Assistance Programs (EAP). Human resources should be regularly promoting the organization’s wellness and wellbeing programs, including EAPs. If they’re not, remind them that it would be helpful. You don’t have to get into employee specifics. And if HR is doing regular reminders, think about whether it makes sense to do a quick mention during a staff meeting. “I’m not sure if everyone saw this but HR sent out some information recently about our company wellbeing program. Please check it out when you have a moment. It’s a valuable benefit.”
Performance coaching. If an employee is struggling and it’s impacting their performance, it is possible that the manager will have to address it. Managers might be uncomfortable doing this, especially if they don’t have prior experience. HR departments can help managers discuss performance coaching. If the organization has a performance coaching training session, consider attending. Asking questions about coaching employees who are struggling with a personal matter is a perfect discussion for this topic. If you recently attended a training session and didn’t ask this question … connect with the instructor and ask.
And let me add, if you’re the person struggling right now and trying to figure out next steps, use the activities I’ve mentioned above to find what works for you. Talk to your manager or human resources. Take a training program that will offer insights. Look at your employee benefits to see what options are available.
I understand that sometimes we struggle with a problem and figure out on our own how to address it. That’s great. Then there are times when we might need the help of someone else – a manager, mentor, coach, or human resources. Use your resources. That’s why they’re there. And when you’re ready for some guidance, suggestions, or advice – just ask. You can take the advice or completely ignore it. Both options are totally acceptable.
Image captured by Sharlyn Lauby while exploring the streets of Salt Lake City, UT
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