A reader writes:
I work at a small college, and part of my job involves working with new faculty. I have one new faculty member who is well on his way to becoming known as a vulture on campus.
My events for new faculty often involve food in addition to programming, and this faculty member (we’ll call him Bruno) will eat a hearty meal and then leave with a substantial to-go plate plus an unopened drink for later. Recently, I was hosting two lunch meetings back-to-back, and to prevent attendees from the first meeting from taking to-go plates, I started covering the food. Bruno watched me put the covers on most of the items and asked me if he could help me clean up. It was clear that he wanted to be invited to take some food with him. When I explained that I had ordered extra food for the next meeting, he proceeded to help himself to a large plate of the desserts that I didn’t have a chance to cover, going so far as to take all of one of the desserts that remained.
While this is irritating to me, I was going to let it slide until a colleague in a different office told me that she had had similar experiences with Bruno and that she found his behavior off-putting. In her case, he was at a well-attended event her office was hosting, and while it was still going on, he left with a full plate of snacks, as well as two cans of sparkling water stuffed in his pockets.
Bruno is a full-time faculty member, so I don’t think need or food insecurity is causing this behavior. He is just out of graduate school, so perhaps he is used to taking food at the end of events. Also, the events I host usually have lots of leftovers (I will often encourage people to take food when I don’t have another event the same day), so he might be under the impression that food at all events is up for grabs.
However, taking food while an event is still going on might mean that attendees who come later will miss out. Also, taking shelf-stable goods, such as drinks that could be used later, is a strain on our budgets and time, since we must replenish these items more often than necessary.
Finally, I am worried that Bruno is developing a reputation for being a mooch or vulture. While there are worse things to be called, this is not the best way for him to begin his career in academia (particularly at an institution where everyone knows each other).
I’m not Bruno’s manager, but I am his mentor, and I feel compelled to talk to him and gently suggest that he ask before assuming that all events allow attendees to take anything they want when they leave. Is this reasonable, or should I just let this go? I recognize that this need might be coming from my own annoyance and Bruno’s behavior might not be the problem I think it is.
Please talk to him. You’ll be doing him a favor, because you’re absolutely right that he’s going to get a reputation for boorish behavior (and in fact may already have one). But even aside from doing him a favor, you should talk to him because there are work-related reasons to tell him to lay off: the budget strain you mentioned, plus the people who aren’t getting food at later meetings because he’s taking extras for himself.
Plus, while anyone who sees Bruno swiping food would have the standing to tell him to knock it off and leave some for others, you have special standing to do it as his mentor.
There are two ways to approach it. One is to simply speak up the next time you see him trying to make off with extra food. For example: “Please don’t take extras with you; this food needs to feed the next meeting too.” Or: “Please just take what you’ll eat during the meeting. We don’t have enough for people to take leftovers with them.”
The other option is to talk with him privately and say something like, “Since you’re a new faculty member, I want to make sure you know the expectations for food at events. Food is usually for the duration of the event only — you shouldn’t take food or drinks with you for later unless the organizer explicitly offers it. Otherwise we risk not having enough for people who come later, and we often save non-perishables like sodas for future events.” If he seems abashed, you might be able to stop there. But if he doesn’t, you could add, “When we do have extras to offer, we’ll usually offer them to students first (if that’s true). It’s not good for a faculty member to get a reputation for taking more than their share.”
He might be embarrassed by being called out (although often people who do this are fairly shameless about it) but who knows, he might appreciate having the expectations clearly spelled out. Either way, it’s something you should address, particularly now that you’re aware it’s a pattern.
