It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…
1. A group of coworkers are pushing for our in-office breakfasts to be vegan
My company is doing a weekly in-office breakfast (a “hotel breakfast”-like assortment: toast, cheese, ham, eggs, yogurt and granola, etc.) with the goal of bringing people together, since we’re largely remote.
A small group of vegan coworkers are pushing for a “plant-based default” breakfast, where all animal products are subbed with vegan replacements and meat and dairy are opt-in on request, citing sustainability (which is important in our company culture) and health benefits. I’m all for a diverse breakfast spread, but this seems a little overzealous – and like something that would make a lot of people feel like they need to justify their dietary needs to others, which is the opposite of creating a welcoming environment. Am I wrong in thinking that this is a bit too much?
For context, all our catering includes vegan and gluten-free options by default, plus any special diets upon request, so there isn’t a situation where vegetarians/vegans need to put in requests to accommodate their diets.
I don’t know that it would make people feel like they have to justify their dietary needs to others (unless that’s part of the dynamic in your office), but it doesn’t sound like the change would meet the range of dietary preferences that are actually present. I mean, yes, vegans and non-vegans alike can eat vegan breakfast foods, but if someone isn’t actively preferring/seeking out vegan yogurt or vegan cream cheese, it’s probably because they want the dairy versions. Unless your company is specifically in the business of advocating veganism, it makes sense to provide the foods people prefer to eat, particularly at a meal designed to bring people together when they’re normally remote.
2. What’s the point of references if they’re just going to say nice things?
Last year, I hired someone, “A,” who seemed like a rockstar candidate. They interviewed well and their references were absolutely glowing. However, it turned out that they lacked key skills the role depended on, and they were let go after making a serious error.
Soon after they were hired, I became aware that A had badly needed the job because they were about to lose their previous job and would have been in dire financial straits if they weren’t able to find a new role quickly. The gap between what I was told by references and what I saw was so stark that I started to wonder if A told their references they really needed the job, and so the references embellished in order to help A.
It’s made me question the value of references! Why bother checking them if people exaggerate and cover up deficiencies to be nice to the candidate? I have to do more hiring and I’m questioning how much weight references should have in decision-making.
(For what it’s worth, we asked plenty of “Tell me about a time when” and “Can you give me an example of” questions in the interview. On paper they were a perfect candidate, and they interviewed well. Even now, I don’t know how it went so wrong.)
References definitely cover up deficiencies to be nice to the candidate! It happens all the time. You’ll also get references who suck as managers so aren’t even aware of what someone’s deficiencies are. But you check references because sometimes you get extremely useful information from them. You won’t get useful info 100% of the time, but you get it enough of the time that it’s still worth doing (see the link below!). You just can’t take anything you hear as gospel; you have to assume references are being filtered through the lens of the reference’s own subjectivity and biases, as well as their specific context and priorities (which may be different from yours).
References are just a small piece of the hiring process; the bulk should be based on rigorously probing questions in interviews and finding ways to see candidates in action doing the work so you can see how they actually operate, not just how they say they operate.
Related:
don’t check references? here’s a horror story for you
3. How do I make an employee respect me and my co-owner?
I am the chef and co-owner of a restaurant with a sibling restaurant next door. The other co-owner (of the sibling restaurant) and I share a front of house manager. This manager has zero respect for us owners even though we are her managers. How can we tell her to respect us or get out in a professional way?
She can feel whatever level of respect she feels, but she needs to behave in a way that respects your authority over her work. So first, get really clear on what behaviors need to change, and then sit down with her and say, “We’ve noticed XYZ in your work, and we need to see ABC instead.”
From there, you hold her to that like any other performance expectation — meaning that if you spell out clearly what needs to change and it doesn’t change, and it’s serious enough that you’d part ways over it, then you have one more conversation of escalating seriousness where you say, “We talked a few weeks ago about needing to see XYZ change, and that hasn’t happened. We’d like this to work out but we will need to let you go if this continues, and we’re at the point where this is a final warning.” If you want, you can ask, “Is this something you want to change and feel you can change, or does it make sense to start planning for a transition now?”
4. Is there any value in referring my brother for a job?
My poor brother has been out of work for over a year and a half now. He was unfortunately a part of a restructuring/outsourcing of his job and was laid off.
He has been relentlessly applying to roles, getting interviews, and then not getting the job. It’s just the market out there right now! From what I can tell, he is qualified for each role and interviews well (at least in our practice together).
I work at a large company and want to help refer him to a job within the company. We have an internal referral program, but I’m wondering if it would be appropriate to send an email to the hiring manager as well and recommend him. I am in engineering and he would be in sales/marketing so there is not a conflict of interest.
I was considering something like, “Hello [hiring manager], I hope you are doing well. If you are considering external candidates for this role, I would like to recommend [my brother]. He has [this relevant experience], and these other facts that match the qualifications you are looking for.”
It feels both beneficial and useless, as I know direct referrals can be helpful but is it really worth it?
Sure, you can do that. It’s unlikely to carry a huge amount of weight (you’ll be assumed to have some bias since this is your brother, as opposed to someone you’ve worked with previously and can be presumed to be assessing more objectively), but in a lot of companies it would still get his application a closer look than he might otherwise get.
5. How to back out of a job I’ve already accepted
What is the best way to tell a company that you’re rescinding your acceptance of their job offer? Although it was a great offer, I’d be rescinding it in favor of an excellent one, one I couldn’t possibly pass up: better in terms of salary, benefits, title, prestige of organization, future career trajectory, and fully remote work situation.
Tell them ASAP (meaning today) since they’re going to have to scramble to see if their second-choice candidate is still available (or restart interviews for the job).
Say something like this: “I’m so sorry but unfortunately I need to rescind my acceptance of the X position. I was very excited to work with you, but I’ve received a different offer that I can’t in good conscience pass up. I apologize for the inconvenience this may cause on your end; it’s not a decision I made lightly. I really appreciate all the time you spent talking with me, and I admire so much of what I learned about the work you’re doing.”
