Questions and Answers – Session 3

Years ago, this week, I gave my life to the Lord. 🙏

My spiritual birthday – January 7.

The day when I said to God, “You can have my life, YOU are LORD now.”

I let Him have complete control over everything, fully submitted to Him and His will, and my whole life changed from that moment on. I may not have always known what He is doing at times in my life, but I know that He is always with me and with Him by my side, that’s enough.

Can’t wait to celebrate this special day this week! Praising Him for all He’s done for me – how He saved a girl no one cared about and set her on the mountain top with Him and gave her life and a purpose. 🙌 🎉🥰

Questions and Answers – Session 3

Tons of great questions this week as always! If I don’t get to yours this week, I’ll answer it next week! 🥰 I’m a bit slower than usual right now with moving, but #2 was my all-time favorite question thus far!!! Wow! Very creative question! ❤️ Keep ’em coming! 😊

1) What does redeem the time mean?

Life is SOOO short. We are a vapor. Here today, gone tomorrow (Isaiah 40:6-7). It’s such a short amount of time and every moment counts for His glory.

Redeeming the time simply means to really consider our lives in light of this truth. 

Putting it in perspective, if you knew you only had 5 years to live, how would you spend time for God? What would you do to spend that time the best you possibly could, knowing that the rest of your existence cannot be changed after you are deceased? What we do on earth matters. How would your life look different than it does now? What would you change?

Honestly, because life is NOT promised to us, we should ALWAYS be living in light of that fact. We do not know how much more time we have and whatever time we DO have left, we should really consider how we spend it very, very carefully, for the honor and glory of our Lord.

What things in your life aren’t so important that you spend a lot of time on? What would you want to do more of, for His kingdom?

Living your life with those priorities in mind is vital in the life on fire for Christ. Paul decided he wanted to live his life in this way: Hebrews 12:1-3 and it is good that we should all do the same. 😊

2) What does a great marriage look like (30-foot view)? Here’s the challenge: you can only answer in song.

Ahhh, that’s the best question I’ve received so far!! 😮

I’m ALWAYS up for a challenge! 💯 Here’s the thing though, you didn’t say how MANY songs I get!!!! Here’s my top 50…kidding! 😆

If I have to boil it down to ONE song, it would be this one. For both the boy and the girl. 

Reasons:

1. He’s going to love her in a way she’s never been loved before and that love that he’s referring to is RARE. Most guys love THEMSELVES, not you (only in as much as what you can do for them) and so he stands out from the crowd because he will love you with Christ’s love, which is sacrificial, a love worth dying for
2. This is a forever kind of love – not something he takes for granted or throws away after a little while. He’s in it for the long haul.
3. He’s going to learn about her – a beautiful and tender, lifelong pursuit for a married couple
4. He wants to honor her mom and dad – again, rare, but absolutely necessary; anyone who loves YOU is going to want to love your parents since they literally made you who you are and appreciate them greatly because of that! The Bible talks about leaving and cleaving (Matthew 19:5) but that never means to avoid or stop the relationship, never cutting them out of the couple’s lives. Still spending holidays together, still having those close-nit relationships, but that the priority now becomes the spouse. I’ve seen spouses drive a wedge between the parents and the child due to being jealous and this is unbefitting of a godly person! Parents are to be honored; that is clear in Scripture (Exodus 20:12)
5. He wants to be a man for her – he wants to be his best, he wants to be what she needs
6. He wants to make HER world better than it’s ever been – his focus is on her, not himself, and that’s Christ’s love
7. He wants to comfort her and be there for her – in the good and in the bad, because marriage, like any other relationship, will have both of those times

If I get more songs, here’s a few more I would say do a great job of explaining things. 😊

• Only Hope – A good marriage is one that is prayed about often. I’ve been praying for my future husband long before I ever meet him. I hope he’s happy, that he does what is right, I pray for his blessings, and I pray for the moment when we meet and get to know each other, that we’ll always seek to put God first in our marriage and in our lives. She is only his and no one else’s. It’s very pure, innocent, loving, caring, full of kindness. My husband will be the one who redeems me; he’s my only hope (human instrument in the hands of God).
• Candy – I am a kind of person who is super clingy. I always want to be around my husband and do everything together. I never want to be apart; I will love him so much and just be adoring to him always. 
• Un Ano Sin Lluvia –  This is my favorite Spanish song. There’s an English version, but in my opinion, it’s not NEAR as good. When it’s translated literally from Spanish to English (not the English version, but the Spanish version), it’s way more romantic and uses different words that show the hunger for her soul mate that she is in love with. It’s dripping with love and just wanting to be with him. She’s dying being without him and in marriage, that’s how it should be. Whenever apart, it should be this massive hunger and ache to be around them, longing for them to get back to you. THIS is the reason I can’t handle my future husband working outside the home. I just would miss him WAY too much while he’s gone to work and I can’t handle that aching pain every single day. My favorite part is when she says, come back to me so I can hold you (which is only in the Spanish version, not the English version). 
• Once in a Lifetime – It’s a love that lasts a lifetime and there’s only one. You find someone with many characteristics, traits, habits, and personality similar to yours and then you grow what’s not similar together. It’s okay to have things that are different, but as time goes on, you’ll start to bend toward each other and become a person that is only right for HER, your wife, and her with you. It’s marriages that grow apart that fail. You want to always grow TOGETHER.
• Best Friend – You’re best friends with each other. You do everything together. It’s a lifestyle of togetherness, always being there for each other.
• Drag Me Down – She will lift you up, praise you, edify you, build you, help you. With her around, no one can drag you down because her love will protect you in many ways. With her, he will be his absolute best. ❤️
• Your Everything – he’s so thankful for her, he just wants to be everything she wants and needs and that’s beautiful. When you love someone, that is exactly how you feel. You want to make their life so good.
• Naturally – The couple should fit together well and work together in every area. Not that they are exactly the same, but that they should naturally fit. Personalities should mesh well, dreams, goals, morals, integrity, things of that nature should all fit together and be in common. It should be something natural, not forced.
• I would also say that there should be an INTENSE passion (empathy of the souls combining) for each other within marriage. Intimacy should be consistently enjoyed. 

3) I’d like to become more organized in every aspect. Learn to organize life better with homeschooling and business.

The first step is to cut out all loose ends and things that are unnecessary. Learn to delegate what you can and delete things out of your life. Learning to block and guard our time from people who seek to waste our time is super important too. 

Next, in order to get organized, start off with my Household Binder. It’s what I started with to streamline my entire life when I stopped working 80+ hours a week (yes, a week!) After I systematized my home, I streamlined my cleaning routine (also in the Household Binder, but if you wanna go more in-depth, here’s the Cleaning Binder I used). 

After that, I started streamlining all holidays. That was a major time-suck for me and I didn’t even realize it! You can get my Yearly Holidays Bundle here.

After that, start paying attention to things that are not productive in your life, specific-to-you-things and start changing them one by one.

Maybe that’s going grocery shopping once a week instead of a couple times a week. Maybe it’s organizing your office supplies in a way that helps you be more productive or learning shortcodes like “Control + C” is copy and “Control + P” is paste. Things like that. Things that make your life go faster in a shorter amount of time, constantly focusing on redeeming the time.

Little by little, day by day, you’ll start to spend more time on what’s important (God, your family, kingdom work, etc.) and less time on the “clutter” in life. You’ll learn to manage time better so you can get the routine things in life done quicker (like cleaning, for example), more efficiently, so that you HAVE more time to spend on the important things, the things of God. 

Take it one step at a time and just keep improving every day! Eventually, after a while as you consistently implement these new behaviors, you’ll look back and realize that your life is being lived exactly how you want it to and you’re happy and peaceful! ❤️

4) Why does having a church make you so happy? You’re willing to move across states just to have a good church. Why do you value it so much?

Why do you not?

Jesus died for the church! Paul desired greatly to be back with churches and wasn’t always able to be with them and it pained him, longing to be back with them (1 Thessalonians 2:17). 

Right now in our culture, church attendance is down. With so many options to watch church services online, so many believers have good intentions to watch, but never actually get around to it. 

Even watching sermons or livestreams online is still not the same as being elbow-to-elbow, face to face with your fellow brothers and sisters. Serving alongside of them (Galatians 5:13), growing with them, edifying them (Hebrews 3:13), being fed spiritually, being accountable to one another (Galatians 6:1), carrying each other’s burdens (Galatians 6:2), teaching each other (Romans 15:14), working for the kingdom of God (Ephesians 2:10), etc. 

While I highly support watching livestreams (I personally faithfully watch at least two each week), it’s STILL vitally important to the life of a believer to be involved in church.

A good, God-honoring, knowledgeable Pastor is rare and we should seek to be taught by such a man and to support his ministry.

We were created to be a community. In fact, when the Israelites were NOT acting like a community, God led them in the wilderness to start working together as a community. Their first testing/trial was at Marah. The well was dry. Shortly after was another test having to do with water. They were constantly trained to become a community and to think and care about others.

It is God’s desire that we be a community as well. We are not born to be hermits or zealots, locking ourselves in caves. The Bible says iron sharpens iron (Proverbs 27:17). How can you get sharp if there’s no other iron around???

We NEED each other. Even if you don’t need anyone else (which is highly unlikely), they need YOU! We all have something to contribute to the Lord’s family.

Another couple verses to consider are:

• Hebrews 10:25 – we are commanded to be involved regularly in getting together with other believers in some capacity
• Luke 22:19 – we are commanded to participate in the Lord’s supper as believers. How can you do this if you do not attend church? Do you regularly do this on your own?

5) How can I have more intimacy with God? I want to get closer to the Lord.

Great question and I love the heart behind it! ❤️ Wanting to be closer to the Lord is beautiful! He will satisfy your soul like nothing else can!! 💯 

I would say to get closer to God, you want to start diving deep into the Word of God, meditating on one verse at a time, till you glean all the jewels you can from that particular verse, then move onto the next verse. Pray for wisdom (Proverbs 4:7-8). Pray He show you more of Himself through Scripture. 

Start spending more alone time with God- just you and Him and really pray and read your Bible, learning to listen to His still, small voice more (John 10:27).

The more time you spend with God, the more you fall in love with Him and the closer you get to Him, so it’s just about prioritizing your life to spend more time with Him. 🥰

Think of Him like your best friend and just spend as much time with Him as you possibly can. 😊 Tenderly cultivate that relationship with Him consistently.

6) In your pictures, you seem very powerful and strong, yet your writings seem more humble and meek. You mention you’re shy. There seems to be a disconnect there.  

I think that, a lot of people assume that I’m this weak, broken girl BECAUSE of what I’ve been through my whole life. They expect broken. And while I have broken pieces in certain areas, the truth is, God gives me the courage and the strength to stand. 

Jesus was a man who was also humble, very kind, loving, gentle (a bruised reed he will not break – Isaiah 42:3) and yet, He in full authority went into His Father’s house (a den of robbers – Mark 11:15-19) and overturned tables with strength. He didn’t turn over tables in meekness, but with righteous anger (which is not sin). 

There’s a balance. You can BE strong AND meek…at the same time, as long as you know where that strength comes from. 😊

Some people are afraid of me, and afraid of what I might say to them because they know it will be God’s word to them and so they have a fear of what He will say to them through me. A genuine Christian should not fear the Word of the Lord. For if He speaks to them, through any means whether that’s through a Pastor or a person, it is for their benefit.

If what is being said is negative and they are in sin, it is better they know of it so that they may change their behavior. If they don’t, they will be chastised and punished by their loving Father, so far better for someone to tell them their blind spots, so that they can avoid punishment!

And if God should say something kind to them, then they are altogether pleasing to the Lord and should not fear that either. What they SHOULD fear, is lack of knowledge and lack of wisdom, for in having lack comes training, refining and THAT…usually comes via the way of hard trials. Therefore, knowledge and wisdom is to be sought out, not ran from.  

Never be afraid of God’s Word. Are not we all sinners? Even the messenger. God shows no partiality (Acts 10:34) amongst His children and not one is better than the other, whether messenger or receiver. We are all required, within the body of Christ, to keep each other accountable to godliness and I have not come to condemn anyone. Only to show His holy standard (His plumbline) to brothers and sisters that we ALL (myself included) might grow in the Lord and be raised up to that standard. For us to see God, not just in the pages of Scripture, but also in His hand in our lives, how He leads, how He loves, how He tenderly cares for His flock.

I would also encourage you in this…God looks at the heart of man. He knows if you are trying your best or faking it or if you’ve gone astray. If you are trying your absolute best, He’s not going to punish you. Punishment and chastisement are for those who rebel against His commands, who refuse to come back to His will and do what is right, not for those who are trying their hardest to be who He wants them to be. I would also say that I’ve seen Him to be a VERY patient and loving God. He makes us aware of our sin, and gives us a chance to change it, BEFORE He punishes/chastises. 

He’s not waiting around in Heaven with an arrow in His hand, waiting for us to slip up so He can harm us. He leads us like sheep, He wants us to be fully restored to Him and walking in a manner worthy of Him at all times. 

It is my deepest hope that when you see me, you see Him, because that’s the only thing that matters.

And sometimes, that means giving up things and people in your life who only wish to steal His glory for themselves, giving those things and people over to God, and to continue running the race set before us. We are to throw off the encumbrances (which can be people sometimes) and run the race with endurance (Hebrews 12:1-3), for His glory. I don’t want His glory. I am not worthy of it, only He is. 🥹💯 

7) Now that my children are grown, where is God’s purpose for me? I’ve been a mom for 30 years to 3 boys with one always at home until now. I’m lost and have no clue what I’m to do. 

If you’re lost and don’t know what to do when your kids are gone, it sounds like your kids have been too much of your life this whole time. Yes, you are a mom, but you are FIRST a wife.

Your relationship with God comes first, then to your husband. Your children are below your husband in priority. 

This is a good opportunity for you to line up your priorities to the will of God, spending more time with God and your husband. After those priorities are met, are you able to serve somewhere for Christ? You have extra time on your hands, get involved in serving. Love your community, reach out to others, get out there and shine Christ’s love! ❤️ The world desperately needs it!! The Master is coming, we are not done yet.

8) You mention love languages. Can you go a little bit into why it’s important or why you like it?

People read love in different ways and it’s imperative that we know how to speak our spouse’s love language so THEY understand we love them, so that they feel satisfied in their soul and we are meeting their needs at the deepest level. When you love someone, you will want them to feel treasured, cherished, adored. 💕

For me, my love language is physical touch, so it will be uber easy for my future husband to make me feel loved, since most guys love to be intimate to begin with. 😉 Physical touch can be anything though, not just physical intimacy.

It can be as simple as a hug or touching my arm. Not a handshake, that’s more platonic, but anything romantic that is physical touch. Caressing my arm, playing with my hair, holding me, kissing me, holding hands, things like that. It’s really tough for me and I hate to say this but I don’t feel like I’ve ever been loved. I never FELT anything when I kissed my ex-husband and he didn’t ever turn me on physically. It’s kinda like the movie, Never Been Kissed. I’ve kissed my ex-husband, but never felt anything: a spark, love, nothing. It wasn’t any good. It never was. Ever. I don’t feel like I’ve ever really had my first kiss yet, at least by someone I actually FELT something for. So I dream of having my first REAL kiss with my future husband. It’s something I really look forward to, and why I guard that so highly (not going around kissing people). I’ve only ever kissed him and it was more platonic than anything.

My other love language is quality time, so spending a ton of time with someone, wanting to always be with them is how I read love. I want their full attention, not divided. Things like quality conversation, listening to each other, eye contact, etc. If my future husband never wants to be around me, I’ll think he doesn’t love me.

Some people would rather hear words of affirmation. Things like genuine compliments, encouraging words, giving praise, etc. They like to hear how well they are doing or how much you appreciate them and their sacrifices for you. It really lights up their soul. 

Another way some read love is by gifts. They will buy you things all the time. Little things here or there for no reason. Bigger things on special dates. They read love by giving and receiving gifts. 

Others read love by acts of service. Things like helping around the house, doing chores, running to the store when you want something, things like that. Anything you do for someone else that is sacrificial or time-consuming, they read as love. Nurses usually read love this way because they are serving a lot. 

If you really want to know what your spouse’s love language is, take a look at how THEY are trying to show YOU they love you. Often times, they speak their OWN love language to try to show YOU they love you. But you only read your own love language and so there’s a chasm there. They have to learn to show love in YOUR way and you have to learn to show love in THEIR way.

This makes for a successful marriage because both people are filled with love and satisfied, their needs at the deepest level are being met.