my coworker’s obsession with coffee is an all-day distraction — Ask a Manager

It’s “where are you now?” month at Ask a Manager, and all December I’m running updates from people who had their letters here answered in the past.

There will be more posts than usual this week, so keep checking back throughout the day.

Remember the letter-writer whose coworker’s obsession with coffee was an all-day distraction? Here’s the update.

I loved reading your advice and feedback. I sent the email after a day or two that was particularly filled with Bill’s coffee talk on a couple of very stressful morning. It was great knowing I was not alone. A few readers pointed out, I probably used some hyperbole. It is more coffee talk than is warranted but most days are not the multiple hour diatribes. (To some extent, Bill does have quite a few hobbies and interests that I get to hear more than my share about so they add up along with his work chat.) Here are a few updates and things I did to help cope.

1.) Bill is still being Bill. He does have a new boss. His old manager is in another position. It seems quieter now so I’m not sure if his new boss has had some talks about his general time management issues or if he is trying to make a better impression.
2.) An office right next door to mine came open. It puts me one door down so it mutes some of the coffee talk, but I still get to be close to my team. That was a huge help.
3.) I did go ahead and opt to keep my air pods in my office both for after work (de-stressing) workouts and distractions.
4.) Last one is probably not the fun update, but I left out that I had a traumatic experience the year before that had amped up my anxiety at work. (Natural disaster related) I took some time off to finally deal with it over a year after the incident. I learned a lot of coping strategies and have even found a mindfulness meditation podcast that I sometimes close the door to do a mediation when I’m feeling irritable.

In a moment of profound growth, I even complimented one of the new coffees last week and told him how good it smelled. For now, I’m not going to let it break my peace of mind and I’ll learn to let little things go whether its hearing about the coffee, the importance of Star Wars: the Clone Wars lore, random facts about obscure Holidays, or Premier League Football. He is very good at certain types of mundane tedious work that most of us hate. He’s just got a lot of chronic insecurity that is a roadblock for him. I’ll have the talk with his manager if it becomes an issue as it pertains to my team’s work.