A reader writes:
I have a networking/recommendations question. My company’s been acquired and I’m worried about impending layoffs. I’ve been thinking about a return to grad school anyways so maybe this is the push I needed, but will still need a new job before then. My LinkedIn is a bit bare, but I’m a hard worker and quite socialble, so I think many of my old colleagues would have nice things to say. How do you recommend reaching out to former colleages and managers for things like LinkedIn reviews or a grad school letter of recommendation?
Do you recommend a cold text/email that includes some pleasantries but gets straight to the point about asking for a favor? Should I review them on LinkedIn first then send a message asking for the favor to be returned? These feel a bit transactional to me though. Do I ask if we can do a catch-up call and then disclose the ask (referral letter) on the call — which feels a bit slimy like the subtext is I only wanted to catch up to ask for the favor?
And should the tactic change if you’ve worked with them recently — around six months ago? Versus if it’s been a year or more? And on the matter, how long is just too long to ask for a LinkedIn review if you haven’t kept in contact?
Sorry for all the questions, but networking often feels like a minefield and I always overthink it!
First things first: don’t put a ton of capital or effort into getting LinkedIn recommendations. They don’t carry any real weight. You’re much better off asking contacts for other kinds of help, like job leads (or references when you’re at that stage).
Next, it is completely normal to let long stretches of time go by without talking with people you used to work with and then contact them out of the blue when something job-related comes up. This is not rude! It’s how people normally do it. These aren’t social relationships, where it would be rude to ignore someone for a year and then ask them to help you move out of your apartment. These are work relationships, which are governed by different etiquette.
You do not need to pretend that you are contacting people to catch up and then slip in the request once they’re talking to you. In fact, doing that will come across as insincere and is more likely to annoy people who would rather cut to the chase and find out what you’re really contacting them for.
So, yes — a text or email that includes some brief pleasantries but gets fairly quickly to the point about what you want to ask. That’s true whether it’s been six months or two years. If it’s closer to the two years end of things, you’ll want to include a bit about what you’ve been up to and also ask about them, but the basic format is the same. How long would be “too long” is a judgment call, but it’s probably much longer than you think and it depends on what you’re asking for. If someone I worked with 10 years ago contacted me for a reference now, in most cases it would feel too long ago to be able to provide the sort of nuanced info that’s actually useful … but if wouldn’t be too long for other types of requests, like “I’m super interested in Org X, saw you worked for them a while back, and wonder what you know about what they look for in llama analysts.”
Also, because you sound a little nervous about the whole thing, remember that with networking, the assumption is always that there may be opportunity for give-and-take. You’re asking for a favor now, but they know they might be asking you for a favor in a year. People are motivated to maintain these sorts of relationships in part because they go both ways, and it benefits them for you to think warmly of them and have good will toward them. Obviously if you never come through for them when they approach you, their perception of that will change — but generally business networking is predicated on an assumption of mutual good will, warmth, and a desire to assist, within reason.
