Thank you so much for responding to my question. I couldn’t really respond to any of the comments on your post, but I read them and really had a good think about everything you said and what the commenters were saying as well. I’m here to offer an update in case you or any of your readers may be interested. Spoiler alert: it’s explosive!
The clarification: HR was kind of a joke in my former company, they didn’t do anything but perpetuate gossip. No such thing as anonymous complaints. Peter and Kate were different departments, think sales and accounting.
The good news: A few days after I submitted the letter to you, I ended up submitting my resignation. I start my new job next month. So far, my coworkers seem nice (we’ve had one casual hang/mixer organized by the new workplace — everyone bought food. My brownies were a hit!) My new company had been trying to poach me for a while, and I just decided to take the plunge. I truly can’t tell you how happy I am to be away from that mess. I’ve just been relaxing at home now. My former coworkers keep me updated about everything that’s happening and safe to say, I left at the right time. Bullets dodged.
Peter was blindsided by my resignation, and asked me why I was leaving and if there was anything they could do to keep me but I refused. I was willing to serve my notice period, but Peter said it wasn’t necessary and I could leave immediately since I clearly thought I was better than them. It was in that moment it became clear to me that I’d been telling myself Peter is a good boss, but he clearly isn’t. Even your advice touched on this briefly. So I cleared my stuff out by the end of the day, went home, and cuddled with my dogs.
Since then, Peter’s boss contacted me, asking me to at least serve my notice period. I only responded by sharing Peter’s last email to me, where he threatened to have me escorted off company property if I wasn’t gone by the end of the day. The grandboss proceeded to call me to convince me to come back. In a rare moment of wanting to be confrontational, I told him I wouldn’t feel comfortable coming back because of many reasons, not just Peter’s rudeness. I told him all about Peter and Kate. I told him my former company simply didn’t have adequate safeguards, so even if I wanted to report this nonsense I couldn’t without being afraid of retaliation. My former grandboss clearly wasn’t ready for my verbal diarrhea. Said he would call me back, but it has been blessed silence since.
On to the actual update: aka what is going on with Peter, Joe, and Kate.
The day after I left, Peter and Kate left for another business trip. However, when Kate returned home she realised their house was empty. Completely bare.
It would seem Joe had been aware of the affair for a while, and instead of confronting Kate or Peter he’d been lining his ducks in row so he could just up and disappear. He resigned by email, no mention of a notice period. No one knows where he is, or what he is doing. Kate apparently tried to file a missing persons, but Joe had already informed the police he wasn’t a missing person. At the same time as Kate came home and realized Joe was gone, his entire family also blocked all forms of communication with her. She tried to show up at Joe’s parents house, only for his parents to claim they don’t know her, they never knew her, and if she didn’t get off their property they’d call the police.
I know all this from my coworkers, who know all this from Kate because she can’t stop talking about it at work. She “doesn’t know why” Joe would have done this.
Few days after that: she also dumped Peter in a rather public, unhinged way, saying that he hypnotized her (???) and her life was falling apart because of him. But apparently it didn’t stick for long because the next day they were having loud and violent sex in Peter’s office during lunch hours.
There are rumors circulating that both Peter and Kate are about to be fired. Not sure why they haven’t been fired already. Some of my former coworkers have asked me if I could keep an eye out for jobs for them in my new company.
Thanks for your advice and compassion! Love and blessings to you.
