I miss my old job 🙁 I hit my month mark at my current job and it feels like I’m missing an ex, which is wild.
It’s extra hard because my old job was part of my identity. I worked in mental health and it felt so fulfilling, I felt like I was good at something *and* doing something good. But it was so, so exhausting and draining, and after a client died, I knew I couldn’t do this long term. It also didn’t pay well. I decided I’d take a break from it and try a different path, and eventually will work in mental health on the side.
So I started this new job, where I don’t have to work with clients, still doing something relatively helpful for the community, but much less interesting. It pays much better and work life balance is better. I don’t take my work home with me mentally.
But my team is not very progressive, they don’t really acknowledge mental health or social justice, and it’s not as culturally diverse as my last workplace. I’m also the only childless person there. However, they are all polite and nice and if I ask for help, they are helpful. I feel like I can’t be myself as much in this workplace, so I’m more quiet, which has made it harder to click with anyone.
I realize I had a unicorn workplace previously where I worked primarily with women, people of color, and LGBTQ coworkers, where we felt valued and respected (except for our pay) and had a lot of open discussions about mental health because it was part of our work. I really enjoyed being with my coworkers and felt relatively quick connection.
I’ve been staying connected to my old coworkers and boss (we were a remote team) but it just makes me miss them more. And as much as I miss them, I know I don’t want to work for them, because they don’t have any positions that aren’t client facing that I could do. And the pay was too low for the high workload.
So now I just feel…stuck in some kind of limbo. I don’t feel like I’m trying to find much good in my new job because I’m stuck missing my old job and comparing. I don’t feel interesting without my old job. I’d like to have more things to do outside my work, like hobbies, and now I actually have time for that, but I don’t have motivation to do it yet. I admire friends who are like “work is work” but spending 40 hours per week doing something, I am more motivated by feeling connected to my work.
Has anyone been in a similar situation? Does it get better?
